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The Cow in the Parking Lot: A Zen Approach to Overcoming Anger, by Leonard Scheff Susan Edmiston
PDF Download The Cow in the Parking Lot: A Zen Approach to Overcoming Anger, by Leonard Scheff Susan Edmiston
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Review
“This little gem of a book is full of practical advice, illustrated by engaging stories of ways to recognize―then handle―episodes of anger in our lives. It is funny at moments, thoughtful and thoroughly eye-opening in others, and requires no adherence to a Zen lifestyle to gain its benefits.â€? ― Book Passage, San Francisco (Management Today)“Scheff, a lawyer and Buddhist who has conducted seminars on anger management, and journalist Edmiston take a fresh approach to the perennial issue of anger, which they identify as a way of responding to unmet needs or wishes. They show how, through the application of simple Buddhist ideas, readers can alter their responses to life's anger-inducing moments and move from anger toward compassion. VERDICT: This book is aptly pointed at those who are curious about Buddhist spiritual practice in today's world, with its many opportunities for rage and frustration; it should appeal to religious readers as well as mothers, business leaders, teachers, and others.â€â€• Library JournalWhat do cows and parking spaces have to do with managing a third sector workforce? Quite a lot, if your day-to-day life involves finding yourself in a situation where you might succumb to feelings of frustration or anger. The Cow in the Parking Lot, by Leonard Scheff and Susan Edmiston, says you can manage your anger in a positive way through the power of Buddhism. So when a colleague screws up, a donor pulls out or a charity campaign misfires, reach for the yoga mat, assume the meditation position and chant your cares away ... You may be wondering where the cow comes in. Well, imagine you're in a supermarket car park, circling for that elusive space. You find one, but before you can reverse in, someone else has swiped it. Now imagine that, instead of another driver, a cow has lumbered into the space and settled down. Your anger dissolves into bemusement. Scheff and Edmiston explain that once we understand our anger "buttons", we can defuse a situation if they're pushed. Alternatively, just picture the cause of your frustration - be it a boss, colleague or donor - as a docile cow. That will soon have you smiling. - Emma De Vita is books editor of Management TodayWhat do cows and parking spaces have to do with managing a third sector workforce? Quite a lot, if your day-to-day life involves finding yourself in a situation where you might succumb to feelings of frustration or anger. The Cow in the Parking Lot, by Leonard Scheff and Susan Edmiston, says you can manage your anger in a positive way through the power of Buddhism. So when a colleague screws up, a donor pulls out or a charity campaign misfires, reach for the yoga mat, assume the meditation position and chant your cares away ... You may be wondering where the cow comes in. Well, imagine you're in a supermarket car park, circling for that elusive space. You find one, but before you can reverse in, someone else has swiped it. Now imagine that, instead of another driver, a cow has lumbered into the space and settled down. Your anger dissolves into bemusement. Scheff and Edmiston explain that once we understand our anger "buttons", we can defuse a situation if they're pushed. Alternatively, just picture the cause of your frustration - be it a boss, colleague or donor - as a docile cow. That will soon have you smiling. - Emma De Vita is books editor of Management Today“The Cow in the Parking Lot: A Zen Approach to Overcoming Anger offers one of the best titles available on anger management. It's packed with insights and techniques that advocate getting calm instead of angry, and comes from a trial attorney who used anger to fuel his fiery courtroom presence. Buddhist wisdom permeates a powerful survey of what provokes anger and how to turn it aside.” –California Bookwatch
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About the Author
Susan Edmiston, a former editor at Redbook and Glamour, writes for New York, The New York Times Magazine and Book Review, Esquire, The San Francisco Chronicle, and Women's Day. She lives in Berkeley, California.
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Product details
Paperback: 208 pages
Publisher: Workman Publishing Company; 1 edition (June 24, 2010)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0761158154
ISBN-13: 978-0761158158
Product Dimensions:
5 x 0.5 x 7 inches
Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.5 out of 5 stars
201 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#14,457 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Very good book, helpful way to change your view on viewing anger and how you deal with it.
I strongly recommend this book. I've dealt with anger issues my entire life - I grew up around anger and never learned how to deal with it. In mid 2017 life changed for me and I decided I would quit anger, much like someone addicted to a drug. I was told to look through books on the subject and find one that related to me. After extensive research, I landed on The Cow in the Parking Lot. That decision changed my life for the better. I slowly read the book over and over. It's beautifully written in an easy-to-understand way, yet very profound. I've since gone on to read many more books about anger and enlightenment, but when I need a reboot I always refer to my notes and highlights in The Cow in the Parking Lot.I just purchased 14 more copies which I am giving out for holiday gifts. I couldn't think of anything better than giving my loved ones the tool for a happier, more fulfilling life. If you struggle with anger, I encourage you to pick up the book ... you won't be disappointed.
But I did have an irritation, annoyance, pissed off, impatience problem. It was not until I read this book that I understood those are all forms of anger. I have always prided myself on not having a "bad temper," or "anger issues." I truly never understood that my constant annoyance, impatience etc. were all anger based. This book was an eye-opener for me In the truest sense of the word. The goal is not to express your anger or to talk yourself out of it, or to smother it any way. The goal is not feel anger at all because when you do the underlying belief is that "this is not how I want things to be," in spite of the fact that the reality is exactly what it is,whether it is the way you want it to be or not. The fact that you get angry in the checkout line because the clerk is slower than you think she should be, does nothing to change her speed or the situation. In other words, it's all about you and the way you think reality should be but isn't. It's amazing how quickly you can stop anger in its tracks anger when you really look at and understand that you don't have to get angry (annoyed, impatient, pissed off etc.) at all. Wow, that's big, really big.The book is based on Zen principles, but it is not religious in any way, nor do you have to be a Buddhist to benefit from it. In this age where everyone seems to be angry and expressing it non-stop, these are important lessons. The writing style is breezy, easy to read and understand even though the topic is deeply spiritual. It really is a game changer. I have read it several times and each time learn and understand more.I highly recommend this book, even if you don't think you have any anger issues
I love this book it changed my life. I don't want to over share but after reading reviews on Haribo 5 pound bag of sugar free gummie bears, I feel safe doing it. I never saw myself as being an angry person, but get this ... I was. Explosively! Anything would set me off! My friends would often tell me constantly to get help & I would just ignore them & say that they were the ones with the problem. I'd use my anger to try (but fail) to manipulate, dominate & control just about everyone & every situation in my life. One day something harmless drove me to the edge of nearly causing someone I loved very much physical harm. I can't tell you how that terrified me. It was only then that I admitted to myself... I was angry & needed help. So glad I read this book. This books approach is very very gentle. I don't want to spoil this fantastic read for you. However, I also don't want you to pass up this opportunity. So I'll say this book despite the title ,is in fact very logical Captain. While at the same time coming across understanding & compassionate. Because that's it's nature it eases you into "ah moments" when you gain insight into understandings about yourself. This book takes very little work. Each chapter has one section where you are asked to do a little self examination. I don't want to spoil it, so I'll just say that many chapters in tandem with the exercises (another book I read) had me take a-- logical & very understanding, compassionate look at myself. I'm 40 today I can't really express you you how I needed this to happen in my life. I can't tell you how close to the razors edge I really was. How am I today & what did I discover about myself & my anger? Anger for me now, I see it as limiting & damaging emotion that hurts no one but me. How am I today? Happy absolutely 100% happy about what life is bringing me everyday. Now I'm aware that life can be different & I can be happy if I choose to be. It's such a change I decided to make & I'm confident you can too. Now I'm naturally more honest, loving understanding & compassionate to myself, to others. Take my 2 cents worth on this book my brothers & sisters. I want to also mention reading this book & the book, "The One Minute Philosopher" has improved has seriously changed my life. What have you got to lose? Your anger perhaps?
This book really has changed my life for the better. I've read many books which have helped me in little ways but this one went beyond any other. I knew no one could MAKE me feel a certain way, that my feelings are under my control, but I just couldn't make it happen. This book brought it all together for me so Icould go beyond understanding to doing. It changed my perspective and now I'm able to see the world more clearly.I had some difficult family relationships I'd all but given up on. I read this book a few times and took notes in a journal. I read through the notes as needed, before contact with these individuals. Those relationships have improved exponentially from just the changes I've made. I cannot control the words or actions of others but I can control my actions, words and reactions. That has made all the difference.I have recommended this book many times and will continue to do so. I think everyone should read it. I,like many others, didn't think I had an anger problem. Whether you label it hurt, embarrassment, betrayal, impatience, annoyance, etc., at the core it is all anger. We could all use less negative emotions and more positive ones in our lives. I promise, if you read this and take the words to heart, you will have both.
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